Why It's Important to Check-in on Yourself

We might do it hourly, daily, weekly, monthly. We make the time for it.. we might make it a priority.. we open up our hearts to listen and understand.

I'm talking about checking-in on the people we care about.

We keep mental tabs of what's going on in our loved ones lives health-wise, career-wise, hobby-wise, etc. We send little texts: "So how'd it go?" Or phone calls: "How are you feeling today?" And visits to Starbucks so we can give them a big hug and cover as many topics as we can in the only free hour we found in our schedule for the month of June.

But then again, how many times do we get so busy and forget that something huge just happened in a loved-ones life, so fail to follow-up, and a few weeks go by before we realize; then it's just too late to bring it up without looking like a jerk.

We have so many different storylines to follow that some important details get eclipsed by mundane daily tasks. We are all guilty.  We do it to our loved ones, and our loved ones do it to us. At no fault to anyone - we are doing our best to just stay afloat and make sure our cat is being fed (right?)

Gone are the days of minimal responsibility. When the 3 o'clock bell signified at least six hours of complete freedom to do whatever we want and talk to whomever we want (on our landline or MSN - but not at the same time, obviously). Hello 14 hour days, and a minute-to-minute schedule in which we are lucky to find a spare moment to think about anything but the task at hand. 

Have you ever felt hurt by someone you love for forgetting a detail of your life? (asking for a friend..) A detail that you've been waiting for them to ask you about, but the question never comes? How many times do we wait to speak to others about our live's events, and if those conversations don't happen, well, it never gets talked about. 

If you don't do this already, I'd like to introduce the concept of checking-in on yourself. The same way we'd call up a friend to ask how they're doing, we should direct those questions inwards. What if we started to have important conversations in our minds, on paper, or even out loud (if you're like me and talk to yourself). Wouldn't that ensure we never missed the opportunity to talk through what's going on in our lives? If you want to get really wild, you can take yourself out for coffee. Treat yourself to your favourite beverage, pop in your earbuds, and write out how you're feeling. You can begin by asking yourself the questions you'd ask a loved one.. such as:

How's your job? You still liking it? 

What's going on with your parents? 

Any big trips coming up?

How are you and your partner? You had a little fight not too long ago.. did everything work out?

Did you sign up for the dance class you were thinking about? Why not?

Done anything fun lately?

Tried something new?

and so on...

Add yourself to the list of people you check-in on. Make yourself a priority. It can help you suss out feelings, stay on top of your goals or things you said you were going to do, and bring some important questions to the surface. It kind of makes sense.. we tend to be the most real with ourselves, and may confide in ourselves in a way we wouldn't dare do with anyone else. 

This is one tiny step towards being your own best friend and making yourself a priority. When you take care of yourself, and when you feel taken care of, that's when you become the best version of you.

Lynn