Slow Down... You Can Say No

I'm young and not even three years into my career but dare I say that as of a few months ago I was starting to burn out?

When it came to anything related to my profession in the events industry, I was guilty of saying yes to everything; after-work networking events, volunteering, breakfast-lunch-and-dinner meetings, etc etc... to any of my peers reading this, you know the drill.

I was moving a mile-a-minute. I became addicted to the feeling of accomplishment and I wanted to relive the feeling over-and-over again as many times as humanly possible. I wanted to prove to myself and others that I was capable of anything. To achieve this, it meant piling as much as I could onto my plate.. at any cost. 

When I was fresh in the industry, it was a good thing... a necessary thing, and what I believe has led me to my successes so far. I would not change anything I've done up to this point. However, now that I've started to find my bearings, I realize that I can't run myself into the ground the way I did when I was first starting out; it is simply not sustainable. 

I wasn't only burning out in my professional life, I was run-down in my personal life. I was saying yes to so many plans that I was double-booking my weekends and letting friends down because of it. I was showing up to places that I didn't necessarily want to be, but felt I should be; and as a result, I wasn't being my best self.

I was letting myself down by filling up all of my free time with countless commitments which led to lack of sleep, lack of time spent doing the things I love, and lack of alone time that I desperately needed.

My life was a circus, but I was no longer the ringmaster. 

It became clear that in order to gain back control of my life I needed to pare down my commitments. I needed to be better when I was present instead of being present in all places. I could no longer be useful if I was exhausted both mentally and physically. I could no longer be useful if my attitude reflected that I was resentful of my days being completely absorbed by things I didn't want to do. 

When deciding to slow down and what I should make a priority, I referred back to my values. What did I believe in and care about most? Family, career, health, volunteering, friends? When I started to rank my values, it helped me allocate my time accordingly.  

Additionally, learning to say no was a huge step towards gaining back control of my life. I didn't start saying no to everything, and when I said no it wasn't always because I didn't want to do it; it was that I was learning more about what I am capable of accomplishing, realistically. I began to think critically about what I was saying yes to. For example, was I saying yes to something just to show face, or was there a more meaningful purpose?

An important step in saying no is being truthful in your reasoning. People can tell when you're making an excuse or lying. Being honest by saying that you can't fit it into your schedule right now, or that you are simply feeling tired and need to free up some time to rest, is totally fair. 

So, slow down... you can say no. I promise the world won't stop turning if you don't attend that dinner party. There will be more. And, who knows, maybe saying no will open a door to something far more meaningful. 

Lynn