Body Positivity: Taking a Pledge

I had an epiphany recently..

Three weeks ago I considered starting a 30-day healthy living challenge. The words diet, bikini body, or shred were nowhere to be found in the title, perfect.  However, I had to stop and give myself a shake. I realized I was jumping straight into yet another bandaid solution for the body issues that have been haunting me for years. I visualized exactly how this would go if I committed to the challenge: I would be doing it in an attempt to change the appearance of my body, for vanity purposes, not to "get healthy". I would struggle to stick to the meal plans, berate myself when I made a mistake, and end up the same as I was when I started.

Maybe that’s a pessimistic way to approach it but, for over three years I've been experimenting with the latest diets and trends, and I know myself enough to predict it all. So, I saved myself the $300 and the disappointment at the end of this one, and decided I am going to try something completely different than I ever have before. I am going to start focussing my energy on something other than the number on a scale, kale, and exercise.  (Disclaimer: I think the 30 day healthy living challenge I mentioned is a good one if you can make it sustainable, which a lot of people can. I've tried it before and enjoyed it at the time, but it wasn't sustainable for me.)

I am not saying that I am going to start popping pizzas in the oven every night and throw away my running shoes. I am saying that I need to start living a sustainable life. The amount of pressure I put on myself to watch what I eat to an obsessive degree, and have a full blown anxiety attack when I miss a day of exercise, only enables me to crack and fail time and time again. 

I will not let these things run my life anymore.

Another big shift that I need to make, and the most important in my opinion, is changing how I speak about my body to myself or in front of others. We often talk about other people's bodies like it's any of our business, and we allow other people to comment on ours like it's any of theirs. We place so much value on the look of our bodies, to the point that we allow it to define us and others. 

I'm going to Mexico for my best friend’s wedding in a few weeks. I think I owned one bikini, because your girl has been so hard on herself over the years that I found zero reason to own more than that, seeing as it will just get hidden by a t-shirt anyway. Well, a couple weeks ago I went online and bought SIX swimsuits. I received them, put them on, and was standing in my full-length mirror pinching my thighs, sucking in my stomach, and figuring out which t-shirts would look best on top of them. I was telling myself I lacked discipline and that people would look at me in disgust. It was not my finest moment. 

I  thought to myself: would I ever say the things I'm saying to myself to my best friend, my sister, or even a stranger? The thought of it brought me to tears. I would never talk to anyone the way I talk to myself, so what the hell was I doing? 

That was a pivotal moment for me. 

I decided to take a pledge to love my body and not give a damn about anyone else's. What does this pledge look like?:

• I will stop talking about anyone else's body like it is any of my business. 

• I will stop talking about my own body in front of others like it is any of their business. 

• I will stop turning to the side and scrutinizing myself when I'm in front of a full length mirror.

• I will stop pinching my thighs, arms, and other parts of my body and saying to myself "if they were just like this, that would be perfect."

• I will consume healthy foods, allow myself to indulge, exercise regularly, and embrace the outcome of how my body reacts.

So, I put the swimsuits on again a couple nights ago, stood in the mirror, and was like 'Girl! Get it!' My body is the product of a lot of hard work, long nights of wining and dining with amazing friends, and cake at birthday celebrations. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. Please don’t be misled, I am not instantly cured, I could hear the horrible thoughts creeping through, but I made sure to shut them up real quick. 

Maybe you'd like to take this pledge with me? I'm so curious to see how different I will start to feel after a couple weeks of practicing these mindful changes. I have a sneaking suspicion my vacation in Mexico will be a lot more enjoyable without bitchy Lynn telling me lies about my body. 

P.s. all of the swimsuits I purchased were from American Eagle (blast from the high school past, I know). At first it was because they were 40% OFF!!! Then as I was scrolling through, I noticed the models looked so.. realistic. So many shapes, sizes, colours, scars, freckles, stretch marks. I was like what the heck this is so great! I had no idea American Eagle launched a campaign called #aerieREAL. "No retouching. Body positivity. Girl power."

Lynn M.